Well the book is based on my experiences and understanding of how important the role our childhood plays in our adult life. As a healer I began to notice that most of my clients issues could be traced back to the family of origin. The book explains these dynamics and helps the reader to open to the concept that the past is never really over and needs to be faced and dealt with. In the book there are examples that the reader may be able to relate too as well as exercises to see if there are issues still unresolved in the readers life. I also tell of some of my own experiences that led me to healing and to emotional freedom. I hope that the book will open the readers mind and give enough information for them to be able to look within and make a self assessment as to where they are in their life and to reach out for assistance if necessary.
DO YOU HAVE AN EXAMPLE OF A CLIENT AND HOW THEY GOT TO THE ROOT OF THEIR ISSUES?
Here is a very simple case. A girl came about her impending marriage and was concerned that she often felt great anxiety for no reason and came out in red blotches all over, she was worried that the stress of the day would bring on an episode. When talking with her it was obvious that she came from a very good family and that there had been no major upheavals in her life to justify the stress episodes she was experiencing. However when I went back to her birth the problem became evident. She was born premature and on life support and had tubes down her throat for weeks. She went on to tell me that she was a nurse but could not work in the area of ear nose and throat as it upset her too much. Her mother was unable to visit her much which was distressing for both of them. This little baby was in a hostile and painful world with little loving attention for many weeks. I explained how this was the cause of her anxiety as her life had been threatened from the very beginning. We went on to do an ‘inner child rescue’, which is a technique I developed many years ago. We rescued the baby and calmed it putting the baby back inside the adult and healed the whole situation. I am happy to say her marriage went off with great success and she has not had an anxiety attach since.
YOU MENTION IN THE BOOK THAT FAMILY DYNAMICS IN TERMS OF BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN, CAN DETERMINE THE RELATIONSHIP WITH THE MOTHER AND FATHER. CAN YOU EXPLAIN THIS?
Everyone has their individual story however, most stories have a certain pattern and there are only so many variations. For example, when working with a client I will always note the birth order and explore the role they played in their family. There are many roles such as ‘the baby’ ‘eldest, responsible child’, ‘the black sheep’, ‘the lost child’, and so on. Then there is the emotional genetics of the family, the eldest child often is carrying the issues of the dad and needs to have a good relationship with the dad, the second child the same with the mother. The third child tends to take on the issues of relationships of the family and the fourth child often is the family ‘fixer’. From there it goes back to dad again. This is just one area that I take into account when working with a person but it is a good indicator of what is going on for that person.
CAN YOU TELL IF SOMEONE’S INNER CHILD IS RESPONDING TO A SITUATION RATHER THAN THEIR ADULT SELF?
Yes you can quite easily really. Often I will find with a client that as they tell me their story and refer to a time as a ten year old they will feel and act that age as they connect to the emotion of that time. They will pull themselves out of it by saying something like “Oh this is silly I should be over this”. For ourselves it becomes easy to see when you are operating from your child self once you are aware. We are operating in child when unreasonable sense of fear about something holds us back, for instance fear of speaking up to a boss. Often people will relate to their bosses in the same way they related to a parent. A person can be operating in their day to day life with great confidence yet there is one area of their life that they feel totally disempowered. When explored this will often take one back to a childhood experience.
DO YOU BELIEVE THAT EVERYONE INCLUDING PEOPLE WE SEE BEHAVING BADLY IN THE NEWS HAS AN INNER CHILD THAT IS THE CAUSE OF THEIR ADULT PROBLEMS? SAY FOR INSTANCE CHARLIE SHEEN?
I wouldn’t like to say always, however I do think that if you go back with a person and look at the ‘foundation’ of their family structure and support systems they had you will often see that all their needs were not met and therefore there is a level of dysfunction that is now being acted out publicly. Lack of ceremony in our culture I feel plays a role, at what stage of life in our western society is someone now considered to be a responsible adult? In my experience I see often people don’t take on responsibility and often parents deny their children the right to manhood and womanhood by holding the power in one way or another. In indigenous cultures there was always the ceremony at puberty to acknowledge that now you are expected to be an adult and take on responsibility, so it was clear, that clarity does not exist today. I feel for people such as Charlie Sheen who haven’t developed themselves emotionally to the point of being able to cope with the success and adulation that is thrown at them.
WHAT IS THE PROCESS TO IDENTIFYING AND HEALING YOUR OWN INNER CHILD?
To identify a wounded inner child just think back to your childhood and see how it feels! How was the relationship with both parents now and as a child. Did you feel loved and valued? How was it with your siblings? Often people will deny what happened to themselves by comparing their childhood to someone else’s saying ‘Well it wasn’t as bad as such and such’ this is denying your child within. To find self love one must first appreciate your journey to this point in time both the so called good and bad times. If there are many deep hurts and abuse you will need to get the assistance of a good healer to guide you through these traumas. If you are holding anger toward another you need to face it, work through it and come to forgiveness.
IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION FOR LORRAINE IN REGARDS TO HEALING YOUR INNER CHILD – SEND YOUR QUESTION HERE?
For more information contact Lorraine Webb at firstname.lastname@example.org, or check out her website at www.adelaidehealingenergy.com.au