Right-e-o, so according to rumours, People Magazine, yes that magazine you grab off the shelf if you’re needing some spiritual enlightenment or more understanding on the anatomy of a tree frog, has voted Maroon 5’s Adam Levine The World’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2013.
What I’d like to know is what it is that prevented the entire staff from this magazine to not see another celebrity male for an entire year? To not read a single article on a famous man that wasn’t named Adam? To not view a single TV program that didn’t have Adam Levine as a judge apart from the American version of The Voice? C’mon guys, this is your job!
I’m not for a moment suggesting that I am the expert on all things sexy however sexy is such a great title to have bestowed on a person that I just think that whoever gets this worldwide reputation, should bleatingly well deserve it.
The angry little man I met a few years back that wouldn’t talk to anyone backstage at the Adelaide Entertainment Centre even though all interviews were agreed and arranged didn’t ooze sexy to me. And given I was the only one that did get my allocated time with him but got one word deadpan answers from him, didn’t have me wanting to shut the dressing room door and jump his tattooed bones either.
In hindsight what I should have done was turn my microphone on and record three minutes with the security guard who was far more engaging by simply knowing how to feign a polite smile, which if you’re in the entertainment business, should not be hard to fake either.
If Adam is donned with the Sexiest Man Alive crown for 2013, then he shouldn’t get too comfortable polishing it up for purposes of catching his reflection, given he still hasn’t quite been forgiven by America, for muttering “I hate this country” during his The Voice hissy fit last series.
You don’t really want to be uttering those words in a country where your countrymen can’t tell the difference between Austria and Australia, and don’t mind a flag flapping over their roofs, do you?
And in another sign that Mr Maroon Five’s mouth should be marooned on a desert island for a rest, he told Details magazine this delightfully transparent observation, “There’s two kinds of men: There are men who are f***ing misogynist pigs, and then there are men who just really love women, who think they’re the most amazing people in the world, and that’s me,” “Maybe the reason I was promiscuous, and wanted to sleep with a lot of them, is that I love them so much.”
Yes, that must be it. Or maybe you’ve been chatting to the feathers on your Victoria’s Secret model girlfriend’s wings so long that you think that that explanation was really going to make women believe that you worship them so much that you just slightly overdid the communion bit?
Clearly I’m not debating whether the guy should win the Pulitzer Prize or not right here, but I do think that what makes a man sexy amongst a whole bunch of things these days is kindness, a great smile and ideally not a clue that he we’d like to see him in a magazine with a staple across his bits.
It’s not the guy that walks into the gym that making eye contact with everything that moves like some FBI agent protecting the President for the day. It’s the same with women who believe all they have to do is breath to be hot that completely cancels sex appeal out for me.
Sexy is an energy that you can’t put your finger on. Like great cologne you can’t see, but as it wafts past you, not only do you notice it, sometimes you can’t help wanting another whiff. So to speak.
Sexiest Man Alive for 2013? Well, my vote is not with the guy that thinks his story is more important than the one with the girl named Eve.