Although I’ll admit, most of us have probably had more than a  gut full of hearing about child beauty pageants,  however if I don’t get some of this fury out of my belly, I fear I may have a Linda Blair in the Exorcist moment, and nobody wants that.
So here goes, what our beloved current affair programs as they unwittingly outed themselves in such a blatant way this week as they’ve grappled to get the Eden Wood pageant goods.  And let me tell you, A Current Affair has proved to be a very bad loser.

I heard one of their reporters Martin King this week, throwing a hissy fit that would have been far better suited side of stage at last weekend’s pageants, than from a man desperately trying to save his and his TV show’s face.  Because Today Tonight well and truly gazumped them.

But what made me sick, and I had to pray there were people listening with a mind of their own, is that he was making out that A Current Affair just happened to want to cover the pageant, nothing to do with the fact that they want to stalk American pageant princess Eden Wood and her mum.

So because they got shafted as Today Tonight went straight to the stage mother from hell, aka mother of Eden, and did a deal that meant she wouldn’t touch ACA with a 10 foot, $70,000 worth pole.

ACA’s reporter spat them dummy, and with his team of muck rakers, made up the angle that all these kids who had come to see Eden Wood had been left devastated as her mum and TT kept her under wraps.

Oh PUHHHLLLEEEAASSSEE!!!!!!!  If I hear one more person debate this contest without actually having seen one episode of this car crash viewing reality show Toddlers and Tiara’s I’ll scream.

Yes I am guilty of watching probably around 20 episodes of this series, because it really is rather fascinating but also very very sad that the parents of pageant kids aren’t all locked up.

Ok perhaps that’s a little OTT, a little like the hairstyles and frocks at the event, but I do believe these parents are potentially damaging their children’s lives, with the results no doubt further down the track.  And no one that hasn’t seen the show should comment otherwise.

But here’s the thing, I have never ever heard of Eden Wood so it doesn’t quite wash that she had legions of fans who were let down by not seeing her because of Today Tonight.  Sounds like sour TV grapes to me!

Onto the next bit of grubbiness, the parents of these kids. I just love the line the defenders wheel out “Oh she loves it, it’s not us pushing, she wants to do it.”

And that boring half-baked chestnut “I think it teaches them discipline and toughens them up for life.”  Yeah, so did the Vietnam War.

Any mum or dad that thinks that they’re doing their job at parenting, by making the main focus of their young child’s development, all about how they look is failing them so tragically it makes me really sad.

When this child becomes an adult, and suddenly realises that the world doesn’t give a rats behind about how many plastic trophies she has, and that no matter how hard she strives there will always be someone better looking out there, what’s the mental back up plan then?

Krispy Kremes and McDonald’s anybody?

For those that haven’t seen the show, some parents even start the kids in pageants when they’re still in nappies.  The mum goes on stage at the event with the baby, thrusts the baby up and down in the air like a puppet.

Up and down up and down with one hand, with this face on mum that says “I lost the plot years ago.”

It’s all about gratification for the parents using the child, and while it’s all plastic tiaras and Miss Grand Supreme sashes, it looks like it works.

The only defence they might have is that they have such low intelligence that they seriously can’t do the emotional math for down the track.

Either way, they’re all just Pageant Pimps.



  1. I am horrified by these pagaents. It turns normal mums into evil obsessive freaks and these poor children get pressured from such a young age and if they don’t win they think oh well I must be ugly its just awful. Children are little treasures and shouldn’t be subjected to it.

    • Me too Rebecca. I think they’re vile. You only have to watch Toddlers and Tiara’s or Little Miss Perfect to know that there is a certain type that I am quite comfortable about stereotyping, who put their kids through this crap. They’re either hugely overweight which tells me that they might have self love issues, hence trying to get it from their kids – ie if you think my kids pretty then that makes me feel pretty – or they’re just women that never really made it themselves and trying to get the second shot, or heal their regrets via the kids. It is such lazy parenting to put such unbalanced focus into how a child looks and whether she’s better than other kids based on external beauty. Shame on all of those parents!!!!!!

  2. I too am very distressed to see such pressure on young children, but before we get stuck into the yanks again, perhaps we should have a good hard look into our own backyard. My daughter is perfoming tomorrow in a calisthenics mid year concert. I admit it I will be there watching my daughter perform, I am extremely proud but still dont know how to handle this sensitive issue. This is not the only shallow dance or perfomring activity that needs to be focussed on, there are many. My point is that my daughter will be wearing ridiculous makeup, hair that is seriously coated in hair spray, gel and the most alarming thing is the proven safe spray tan. It is demanded on both child and parent that training is not missed, this includes (well past her bedtime) mid week training sessions. You ask why dont i say something, well this is it, at least the start of it. The guilt is often too much to make a stance, perhaps CASA could have a re-think, I doubt it! If you are not doing anything tomorrow around 1pm come along and see the performance, it is the little performing theatre (owned or at leased leased by CASA) east of the wakefield street courts, about 500 metres down the road…..see you there!

  3. Hey Nightbird,Thanks for visiting! You know, I don’t think it’s true that one fifth of Americans caonnt locate the United States on a map. I asked my son and he near fell over laughing. He pointed out our home state for good measure. He’s 8. Based on her Today show appearance alone, you are dead on target that she needs more public speaking practice (imagine … she still made the top four). In fact, this is where it fits in with my Fragile Brand Theory. Her label being a contestant was bigger than her as a person. That’s almost never a good thing.So, the reason people are mesmerized by her awkward moment, is because they don’t see an 18-year-old girl, they see her label … a contestant who is supposed to be representing our best and brightest. Ergo, no one would have laughed or been appalled if they asked her the same question and received the same answer on the street.All my best,Rich

  4. As a fellow pegnaat contestant (many moons ago), and the mom to a numerous title holding Little Miss, I do agree. We do pegnaats to spend time with each other, but, Hailey knows that you have to be beautiful on the inside, and have Jesus in your heart. And that is the ONLY thing that matters. We do not mortgage the house with every pegnaat, and when we watch t&t, Hailey is appauled that little girls act the way they do. I agree, it is over the top, the way some of these parents act. I want her to be in the Miss Arkansas system one day, and be like you or Heather, and win scholarships to go to college. She is as beautiful on the inside as I thought you two were. But, I am teaching her about true beauty, the kind that can not be applied, the kind that has to come from your heart. The only kind that matters!

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