OWNING UP TO YOUR SHADOW SIDE MIGHT BE TOUGH AT FIRST….

Only a few months back I went on the most amazing spiritual retreat of my life.

It was through the Adelaide Healing Energy Centre in Prospect, Adelaide, and it was titled the Spiritual Energetic HealersCourse.

It was full of amazing information and practical theories to apply to life, and a fascinating experience for anyone travelling on their spiritual path.

One of the subjects we touched on was something referred to as our Shadow Side.  What is our Shadow Side, and is it only visible when the suns out?  Well, no, not exactly.

So backpedaling for a moment.  I came back from this retreat feeling incredibly energized – which you might say, “well, yeah, it was a energetic course”, but I mean in every way possible.

I felt I had learnt some things that I’d always ‘felt’ deep down, but also other ‘tools’ I’ll call them, in order to bring the right things and people into my life, and to hopefully make me a better person in turn.

A month or so went by and I started noticing my old habits, or traits that I wasn’t so proud of, cropping up again.  Sure I could equate that being in such a spiritual setting – Uluru – and around spiritual people makes it easier to be more our version of ‘perfect’, and once that wears off, and life continues, these habits surely stand out a lot more.

Things such as my addictive nature kept rearing its ugly head.  Why was I still binge drinking occasionally and smoking too much?  Surely these were symptoms of issues that I’d worked through by now?

It’s always the same.  The day after the party night,  I realize why I feel like crap, and beat myself up for destroying my previous day’s feeling of well-being.  But I’m also aware enough to know that while the toxins of alcohol and cigarettes go soaring through your system, negative thoughts continue to emerge.  At a much more frequent rate than before.

So I know that, and I get it.  Which is why I don’t overanalyze them as much these days.  It’s more a case of “well that’s what you get.  It’s not you now believing all the potential doom and gloom, it’s the ego trying to drag you down, because your senses, and health is much more vulnerable than it was.”

But after a few weeks of feeling a little disappointed with myself, that then lead to noticing that I was still occasionally being judgmental, or lazy in my thoughts, I worried that perhaps there was something inside me truly trying to ‘derail’ me, and one day it might throw me right off course.

As I do, when I’m worried I don’t have the answers anymore, I returned for a healing and chat with one of the Adelaide Healing Energy counselors, and I just said “I’m worried there’s something inside of me that’s trying to ruin me, and I feel like I should know what it is. Or at least, I should know better than to allow it to take form.”

And then, my counselor, reminded me of the Shadow Side.  We’d learnt it, and I’d even bought a book on it (The Dark Side Of The Light Chasers, by Debbie Ford), but had yet to read it.

She explained that perhaps because I had been ‘on a good roll’, post Uluru, I was now not accepting my Shadow Side.  My Shadow Side being, and yours as well, all those parts of your personality that you pretend aren’t there.  That you don’t want to know are there.

Simple things like being judgmental at times.  Being selfish, or even the addictive sides to our personality.  I was worried the addictive side to me was genetic and therefore out of my control.  Out of my control, being the most frightening part of my concerns.  Because as it says, it means I can’t control it.

As she reminded me, even the worst parts of what we see as our personality, need to be acknowledged, and embraced.  It doesn’t mean it’s a licence to run with them, but like a small child, if they feel they’re being ignored, or not valued, they’ll come out more and more and want to play.

She made me realise that even the addictive side to our personality can be useful.  “You’d agree if you decide you want to achieve something, or get excited about something you don’t let it go?”  This was true.  So perhaps my addictive personality meant I won’t let go of a dream?  An idea? That’s good, isn’t it?

In her words, and in regards to why we should learn to admit and embrace our dark side, our shadow side, is that these qualities may at times prove to be important.  Perhaps a touch of ‘laziness’ is just what the workaholic needs; perhaps some judicious ‘selfishness’ can save us from exhaustion or resentment.

So, here’s what you and I can try.

Write a list of those traits we would hate most people to accuse us of.  And find the positive in them.  Again as I say, it’s not about saying these are what we’d like to become, or be known for, but learning to love and accept them, might take the fear of being them, out of the equation.  There has to be balance, and that means darkness, and light.

I guess like saying “I’ll never eat chocolate again because it’s bad for me, “ often means that we buckle because it’s constantly on our minds.  Take the ‘issue’ or judgment out of the equation, and say “yes I do love chocolate, and I’ll have it now and again,” but don’t pretend you’ll never have it, because, it’ll want to be noticed.

If you are battling with your so-called ‘demons’ or dark side, have a think about this, and maybe read the book.  It’s a theory, and I believe, one worth thinking about.

START HERE – WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR SHADOW SIDES ARE?  DO YOU TRY TO DENY THEM?

6 thoughts on “OWNING UP TO YOUR SHADOW SIDE MIGHT BE TOUGH AT FIRST….

  1. HI Amber, I to did the Uluru Energetic Course,And I to got alot out of it. Speaking of my shadow side yes you are righ every now and agian it still to this day pops up to give me a reminder not to judge people, and true to for it raised it’s ugly head the other day. Thank you so much for the gentle reminder to be mind full and gratefull for the shadow. much love and peace to you. Moira

    • You know what Moira, ever since I learnt about the Shadow Side, apart from keeping an eye on mine, and also learning to love the positive side of the shadow personalities, I’ve also been able to see others a bit more softly. So rather than see a certain side of someone, even quite regularly, and in the past thinking “wow, that person is a piece of work”, I’ve now been able to more peacefully view them as two separate parts – the lovely side of them, otherwise why would you care anyway, and then the shadow side, which I realise they don’t really see in themselves. I have met a beautiful danish lady who is actually friends with Debbie Ford – lucky her – and she’s going to the workshops that Debbie is doing in Denmark. I would so LOVE to go. Let’s try and win Lotto and we’ll go together??xx

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