TALK, DARK AND HANDSOME HEY? BUT IS HE..

The other week I ran into Australia’s Next Top model judge, Charlotte Dawson, and we ended up on the same topic that we often share notes on, and that is ‘dating’.

Are we or aren’t we?  And is there anyone worth discussing? Sadly, much of the time, I feel like I have very little to share on this subject, but this time Charlotte confided that she’d recently had a little dabble with dating via rsvp.com.au.

Now, before you make a note to yourself never to bother telling me anything unless you want it broadcasted to the world, I will add that she ended up sharing it that morning on Sunrise as we both did our ‘Kochie’s angels’ stint.

She was however ‘RSVP outted’ by a Sydney paper so pre-maturely had to call it quits.

All was not completely lost however as she said she had made contact, and ‘plans’ with 3 rather hot looking men.  Not bad, as that’s 3 more than many of us have met in a much longer stretch of time.

Curious as to what sort of experience the online dating world would actually be, I set myself up with a profile, on 3 or 4 sites, to see how it all worked.  Or should I say, as research for this column….

Within 48 hours I could bear it no longer, I had to take all profiles down.  I am clearly either not open to this new, weird, stranger world, or I have a clear case of thinking I’m something that I’m not.

Either way, it wasn’t for me.  Every time a face popped up wanting a chat, I’d completely freak out, hiding under the blankets.  It’s unusual that I’m single, I know!

But I was curious to ask others – others with less ‘issues’ than I, if they believed online dating, should get the thumbs up, or thumbs well and truly down?

I won’t lie, there were plenty of stories along the lines of people turning up and looking nothing like their photos.  Photos of tall, dark handsome men, only to look more Danny Devito as the friendship went ‘live’.

One poor darling said she’d been chatting nicely with a young chap for over 3 weeks, including exchanging photos and all the rest, and then they arranged to meet up for coffee on The Parade in Norwood.  She walks up and says, “Hi, I’m….”, and he looks her up and down, then says, “I don’t think this is going to work out!”, and the promptly walks away.

Then another ‘guy’, and yes I’ll repeat, ‘guy’, met up with a girl he’d met online.  They had a rather merry night at the pub and she asked him to go home with her for a chat, which resulted in him staying the night.

He recalls “I fell asleep, when I woke in the morning I discovered a web cam and a hell of a lot of e mails from people who had watched the previous nights activity broadcast over the Internet, to this day I look back and hope I put in a world class performance as I have never had the guts to search and view.”

Don’t get me wrong though, all the stories weren’t bad. Far from.

One lady shared, “George was on Oasis for only a couple of days and was about to delete his profile as he didn’t like the sort of women that were on there……to cut a long story short, we eloped on Main Beach in Surfers in April thus year & we’re expecting our first child together any day now – a daughter (after 4 boys between us)”

And then just as I start to re-think my online decision, I hear “mum met this guy online and ended up engaged and she was on his computer and found a book he had written on meeting a fat woman, killing them and cooking them! Honest to god it’s true!!! Hope this helps. Lauren”

Alas Lauren, NO it does not.

13 thoughts on “TALK, DARK AND HANDSOME HEY? BUT IS HE..

  1. Hi Amber
    I hope this finds you well and enjoying your new adventures.

    I must share with you that I dabbled on RSVP. I found out not quick enough that it wasn’t the site for me lol. I ended up with an OCD Stalker.
    I deleted my profile from there and while travelling over to the not so successful OASIS ACTIVE profile to rid myself of that too a cute face popped up at me asking me what I was up to. Explaining that I was chosing to be single rather than being stalked ‘Mr cute face’ and I chatted, then chatted some more… 5 weeks later we met (on the 4th of July)… 3 months later we moved in together… month 5 of being together we bought our first home together… 20 months of being together (March 13 at Clipsal) he proposed… We are going to be married on the 4th of June next year!!!
    There was no chance that I would have met this wonderful man anywhere else as we had traced it back that our paths had crossed a couple of times in the past… They just happened to cross once more on a dating site.
    And so far he hasn’t shown any signs of being a woman killer, flesh cooking killer lol

    • Oh Kellie, that is indeed a gorgeous story and clearly you were meant to be together. As much as I’ve included mainly negative stories in this piece, I really did alot of wonderful one’s like yours. Really happy couples that are either married or heading that way. I think it’s fantastic! I think I’m just a bit paranoid in general when it comes to dating. I’m picky, I go through stages where I’m just not that fussed…….quite simply, I’m all over the shop. But I do love a good LOVE story, so thanks for sharing yours. And you must keep me posted when you get to the 4th of June next year. Send my love to hubbie.x

  2. HI..I’M MEL…I HAVE BEEN ON DATING SITES….sounds like an introduction to an AA meeting!
    I was on POF (plenty of fish) for about 6 months. Met a LOT of males on there…but being the selective picky kind of person I am, I narrowed it down to a FEW that I would actually consider meeting in real life, and those that I would add to msn and just chat to. After a while you can pretty much tell, who is on there for SEX and who is there for a relationship.
    I met the guys that I considered GOOD ENOUGH to meet and kept those I didn’t in cyberspace.
    The thing I found with internet dating, is that if you specifically put on your profile…WHAT YOU WANT in a man, what YOU ARE LIKE as a woman, then they sort it out themselves, they’ll either contact you or they wont. But let’s face it, guys being the VISUAL creatures that they are, they will take their chances with you no matter what, coz they can hide behind their computer screen. (i don’t discriminate here, i’m talking about women also) but guys on those sites are mostly there for SEX…if they wanted a relationship, they would be selective and narrow the field down to girls they really want to get to know (regardless of their looks) and make the effort to get to know them.
    It’s the WAY of the future in dating, and I know plenty of people who have successfully met the person of their dreams on a dating site, so without writing it off completely, give it a go…
    just make sure you are DIRECT and honest about what you want, without being toooooooo critical, we ARE all human after all! x

    • You know what Mel, you have made a very good point here. What I think my issue is…..is that I don’t want to admit how superficial I may be when it comes to men. So by me being so specific about what I want, I think makes me look like a shallow cow. So then of course by NOT doing that, I’m getting this broad range of men, which are predominently not my type. Which is my own fault I guess… And you’re also right about the girls just wanting sex as well, well, being that there are those types as there are men. I actually have a really funny friend who is doing exactly that. She’s come out of a long, painful breakup and just doesn’t have the emotional care factor for a relationship, but wants sex (she’s a busy career girl so can’t go out all the time looking). her stories are so funny about the people she meets. It’s not for me…..but she’s having fun. I think though in her defence, she’s being clear that that’s all she wants. Which all comes back to being direct, as you said. Thanks Mel.x

    • hell yes. It’s funny, when I’m in one, I suddenly get that moment when I think “Oh shit, that’s right, I forgot how much easier being single was…….I should have written that down somewhere to remind myself…” ha ha. But there are great points about relationships. Well, alot of them. There’s one or two that are difficult to remember what those great points were, but that’s ok, cause they’re over

  3. Hi Amber, I’m a guy and I use online dating. In truth I am unsure as to where I stand with them, as I have had both good and bad experiances. I filled out my profile early this year and have had some mixed results. Very quickly I discovered that it is a different game to play for guys than it is for ladies. I originally I would carefully view profiles for that special girl and would place only a few contact requests a week. This did not work. I then played a numbers game. Almost any girl to catch my eye I would send a request to, and after some months of sending out the maximum number of contact requests I could, I had six replies. Four of which I chatted to once and there was no spark, one who has be come an online friend, and one girl who I haven’t been able to stop talking to.

    This is my second time round on such a site. The first time was just after my marriage failed and I was trying to replace a piece of my life that I had just lost. Needless to say that time was a disaster. I met one nice girl that time who I was to scared to get to involved in, and one girl who was very selfcentred and took me for quite a ride.

    This time I think I have met someone very nice! It is still very early days yet but I think we click very well. We have had coffee last week and went out for diner last night. I think that she is beautiful, clever and wonderful, and so I’ve deleted my profile.

    So I have had bad expirences with the online dating and good. I have had worse experiances from dating with out the use of the net, and I’ve had better. At my age (31) I do find it hard to meet single girls, due to the fact that most of my friends ( and my self) just don’t know any.

    And that is why I’ve used online dating.

  4. Hmm, i don’t know where i stand with rsvp. I have heard really positive stories but my first go did not have a good outcome. He was certainly tall dark and handsome, very handsome – but also a compulsive liar and married as it turns out. Partly due to my inexperience i guess, but he wasted 8 months of my life making promises that he just was never going to keep. At this point his wife is none the wiser. A really long story, heartbreaking – i still cannot comprehend how selfish and cruel he was to me and possibily has been to many women and possibily still is being. Lives interstate
    and every now i wonder whether he should be exposed to his friends and family – but then think i should just let the universe do what ever it wants to.
    It seems like skill is required in picking good and bad eggs, and luck is required. I don’t know whether i’ll ever try it again but i do have friends who have been successful with meeting nice people.

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