I’M GOING TO A PARTY WHERE I KNOW THE HOSTESS PLANS ON DISCUSSING THINGS I REALLY REALLY HATE…

BAD PARTY

Ok, so hate‘s a strong word I do know this thanks to my mother however….

It’s an odd thing when you’ve been invited to a party, that you’ve accepted however you’re pretty sure you won’t have a good time at.  Not because there’s an ex boyfriend attending who at the mere sight of makes you cringe with embarrassment over the fact that you once actually found them attractive.

Nor due to the fact that no matter how great the regularity of your Pilates has been of late and you believe it’s paying off, or that you’ve been the one with the upper hand in every relationship since, yet he still drags back memories of a seriously rock bottom moment in your life…but because everyone at this party wants something you do not want.

So I ask myself, why did I cry so loudly about wanting to be invited to an election night party?  I’m now thinking it sounds about as much fun as spending Saturday night with my accountant working out my taxes for the year.  No offence Shane!

Surrounded by my increasingly presumptuous and apparently ignorant cloud of attitude over this flipping election, I have discovered that I will be spending the vote count evening, enveloped by wine and cheese and people that hate the party I plan on placing a tick for.

And whilst we’re all clearly civilised people and it’s not likely going to end in a car-bombing incident as I make my getaway from the scene around midnight, it is certainly going to require a large dose of Botox to hide my frowning, as I have to listen to why their ticked bloke should really win.

As I was only my daily walk around the park this morning I mentioned to my regular strutting partner that I’d got myself into a pickle of a party invitation by just presuming we’d all be in the same boat about who should win.   Suddenly as she swung her head in my direction, I became aware that I’d done it again.  My sneaker buddy informs me she’s also on the other team and always has been.

Why is it I’ve found myself wondering why I am in the minority amongst so many of my friends? How can so many people I rate highly for intelligence and who are carving out the types of lifestyles that I also want to enjoy, be so completely on another team?

I’m sure more will come to me as the actual election day and party I don’t wish to go to rolls around, but one thing I do know is that I guess we all get to an age where we ask ourselves “why have I always voted for this party anyway?”  Is it because I just always have because I grew up being told that’s just what we did?  Yes that’s certainly a fact.

Although I was a fairly dramatic child, always either organising some sort of school production or trying to convince my teacher I was gifted at art, I didn’t come from a family who had much to do with the arts.  As I’ve got older, without being conscious of it, I have accumulated friends who work in many creative fields.

I too have found myself steering myself more into artistic territories and now that I have arrived in this colourful zone, many of these friends believe the party I thought was on my side, is according to them, not the party that supports us.

I’ve often wondered whether swinging voters are well versed in politics, listening to policy makers more acutely, or if they’re just a bunch of serial procrastinators that flap in the breeze?

And then my walking buddy said something to me that resonated, “I don’t vote purely based on what’s best for me personally, I vote for what’s best overall for the country and all it’s people.”

Come September 7th, one policy I will run with is  I don’t go to election parties based on whether I’ll have fun personally, I go to election parties to drink wine and eat cheese.

It’s a sad state of affairs when you’re too scared to turn your TV on because KEVIN might be on it

KDUDDThanks to Kevin Rudd I can’t even turn on the news anymore out of fear he’ll be there taunting me with some sort of awful disrespect that will take me and my otherwise peaceful day into an ugly tailspin.

Another reminder shoved in my face that as bad as the performance on most levels that Labour has displayed during their time in power, it’s the Kevin Rudd Show that for me is the hardest of all to watch.

How could someone in his position even dare to use the word trust in his address regarding the election?  If there was one word surely that he should have never, ever approved to be in his speech it is the word trust.

Kevin Rudd’s concept of politics is a bit like watching the movie The Hunger Games, all for show, pretty disturbing and only room for one winner. Kevin.

Like the contestants in The Hunger Games who as part of winning the game needed to create this extravagant make over, designed to convince the public of their power and mystery, so too has Kevin, at heavens knows what cost, apparently bought himself a PR spin team to fool us into thinking he’s something that he’s not.

All part of what wreaks to me of this never ending revenge on not just Julia but also the people of Australia.  Especially those that didn’t nor ever will vote for him.  He’s delighting in holding us all to ransom and forcing all of us to have to be part of his game.

Even worse, his spin team is American.  Now there are many things I love about America and its people, but what on earth do they know really about real Australians or what we desire as a proud nation of citizens?

If you need to bring in a pack of Americans, known for their meticulous, painstaking brain swashing PR expertise to win you friends and ultimately an election, then either you have delusions of Obama status, or you must very little to brag about in reality.

Barack Obama has made plenty of celebrity mates, which in American clearly doesn’t hurt.  His image has been on t-shirts and he’s even graced the couch of a very non-campaign traditional show such as The View.  He knows how to work it like a pro, make himself look accessible whilst nurturing the unique ingredient of X Factor cool.

Yet here we have, a deluded man who was lucky enough for someone to come up with the brief nickname Kevin ’07, someone else then writing a mildly amusing rap tune to it, and even though the rest of us have moved on, good old Kevin as with all things, cannot let it go.

So I don’t cop Kevin trying to plant such sound bites in the hope they’ll make it on to a t-shirt like “just chill”, or “I’m going to have to zip,” or “whatevs…”  How dare he even try to be funny in a position such as his?  After his party have damaged our nation’s self esteem in the way that it has?

Call me old fashioned but I also think he should have better things to do than to be tweeting things such as, ‘I’ve just sat down to watch the test. That was one of the worst cricket umpiring decisions I have ever seen. KRudd.’ Not surprising I guess given we are dealing with a person that enjoys being a celebrity as well as a leader and that’s what they do.

As for describing himself and his party as the ‘underdogs’ of the race…Kevin might believe his party aren’t popular, but he does not and never has considered himself as a weak link. Once again, another little strategy to convince you that Kevin doesn’t think Kevin is our messiah.

In 5 weeks time I hope there is a change in our nation that starts to slowly restore the way we used to feel about ourselves.  After all, we’ve been humiliated and patronized for long enough.

JULIA BEGS K RUDD TO CLEAN UP HER MESS

I’m sorry, but has someone in the Labour party being getting on the Purple Hazes or what?  I’m talking about that nasty drink that poor Britney was said to favour during the pink wig days.

So, could Julia Gillard, seriously have enlisted the bloke she stabbed in the back, and stole his job, and house, and all the other perks, to give her some help winning this election?

According to the news……(unless K-Rudd’s just gate-crashed a press conference, which would be hilarious and I would rate him forever), has come out and said that his old mate ‘Jules’ – apparently needs his help to help her apparently waning campaign.   She’s called him in to say “yeah, what SHE said.  Tony’s a dickhead…”  Or thereabouts

And we’re supposed to take notice of HIM, when clearly, they respected his opinion so much that they gave him the flick!!!!!  Excuse me?

What a serious debacle!!!  If it wasn’t messy and awkward enough for Labour that they even had to admit before the end of their term, that they’d backed the wrong horse, but now, they’re saying that his replacement is a bit ‘light on’ as well.

K-Rudd’s saying now, “I cannot for one stand idly by and watch Mr Abbott try to slide into office by default without any real scrutiny,” he has said.

“I actually don’t think Mr Abbott is fair dinkum.  I don’t believe Mr Abbott is a bad person, I do believe his policies are bad for Australia.  I don’t think he is up to the job of prime minister.”

He then said Julia had asked him to join the national campaign.  “I’m prepared to help.  I’m not a quitter,” he said.  Well, thank god I’m not in politics cause I would have told her to “GO JAM IT JULES!”

Regardless of what you think of Tony Abbot’s policies and his budgie smugglers,  at least he hasn’t got a full dozen of eggs smeared all over his face like dear old Julia, and the rest of the Labour camp.

I tell you what, if I were in the Liberal party today I’d be heading to the pub and buying a round of  &%*# sucking cowboys, because they must be laughing their heads off at this one…  Let’s just hope Tony doesn’t get too silly and end up doing a nudie run down the beach.  Clearly he doesn’t mind a swim.