Is it ok for women to behave like sex pests while guys are now too frightened to say a thing?

There seems to be a spate of female shows at the moment doing the old ‘get your gear off love’ trick and I’m not quite sure I’m comfortable with the concept of it.

For instance, last week or thereabouts I flicked over to see Ellen DeGeneres introduce some guy called Mike who’d won her ‘Ellen’s Underwear Model’ competition.

Out came this very handsome and impressively chiselled young man, in his undies, as the predominantly female crowd all clapped and screamed at him. And not only that, but half the crowd were blatantly cocking their heads on all angles so they could get a good gawk at his nether region.

Now, obviously my internal cringe at the time was not really out of a feeling of motherly protection over this young guy who was clearly just very happy to have been discovered by the all powerful Ellen and appreciated by so many women, but it made me realise how this whole Madame Josephine style wolf whistling carry on by women at nice looking men with most of their clothes off is all just becoming an embarrassing double standard.

Ellen then read out a list of nicknames for the model in his undies that had been sent in by her fans.  “Gluteus Mikesimus?” was the first; something ‘Buns’ was the next and the one the whole audience seemed to respond most to was Sweet Cheeks.

Of course it’s all just light hearted and I’m not a raving prude by any means but I do think, ok so how does this work in the reverse?  A major hit TV show, hosted by a man, introduces a woman who’s won a modelling competition, and out she comes, in her knickers and bra and then has to sit there sans frock while the interview goes on.  He may even do an Ellen and poke her in the breast as she did with Mike?

Then perhaps he runs through a couple of cheesy nicknames the boys would like to rename her with, a couple about her bottom and a couple about her breasts, everyone claps and off she totters off stage with all eyes on her rear.  I wonder how this might get the girls yelling these days, only with a slightly different energy?

Surely there should be a tiny bit more consideration with all this, just like doing the same to hot looking women in their undies, needs to get back a little bit to being about the time and the place, and not just anywhere where women are in a pack?

I don’t think women can terrify men, especially those with a huge profile into never saying anything remotely sexist about a gorgeous look woman yet we seem to be scheduling in these moments towards men with more regularity.  I don’t think it’s fair.

Katie Couric couldn’t help herself as she interviewed rapper 50 Cent, last week, not wanting to miss that ‘let’s get the girls fired up’ opportunity, she enquired as to whether she could get a better look at his muscles.  Of course he had no problem in doing and as standard again the mostly female audience all lit up like a bunch of extras filming Magic Mike.

The Diet Coke commercial this year, which shows a group of women sitting on a hill salivating over a guy mowing the grass.  One of the ladies rolls a can of diet coke down the hill to get his attention.  He cracks it open and it turns into a wet t-shirt competition, before he takes the top off and the girls look on as if they’re about to do something possibly illegal.  Something men are not allowed to look like they’re thinking.

And yes, I get the appeal, I get it’s fabulous to see a sexy man but I just think double standards makes us all look a bit stupid.  If we’ve groomed our men to be able to able to decify sex pest versus appreciation, then we need to be sure there’s not two sets of rules.

Bethenny Frankel is still my hero regardless of her divorce. And she’s coming to town…

Whether you watch her show or not, most of us know who Ellen DeGeneres is.  Her talk show airs all over the globe and she has squillions of fans.  Anyone that ends a humorous show with the words ‘be kind to one another’ deserves much success.

behennyWhen a woman as clever and powerful as Ellen decides there is another woman out there that deserves her own talk show, and signs her up to her company, she must have something pretty unique.

Bethenny Frankel, soon to launch her own talk show thanks to Ellen, first came to my awareness as a cast member of The Real Housewives of New York, airing here on Foxtel.

The show essentially follows a group of atrociously behaved women who pretty much go from one catfight to the next.  Although Bethenny herself got dragged into a succession of pointless bitch fights, she cleverly brought something else to the show by being painfully and amusingly real.

She was the only one of the show that didn’t have a partner and was honest in owning that she was hopeless at relationships and had about as much baggage as Jennifer Lopez going on a world tour.

All of this baggage was played out for the cameras through her counseling sessions, where she thrashed out her issues regarding her parents and her crazy childhood.  But it was never done through a ‘poor me’ vein, it was done by a desire to own it and being tough enough to face it.  And along the way she gathered fans that resonated with her struggle and learnt by her revelations.

After a couple of series of being in the hit series, she left to begin her spin off show, Bethenny Getting Married? Having endeared her to millions of women, we cheered her on when she met a gorgeous guy called Jason Hoppy.  She did her best not to screw it up and used her newfound self-knowledge to guide her through.

While the relationship was gathering momentum, so too was her company Skinny Girl cocktails, a range of alcohol targeted to women.  To the point where the once single girl who couldn’t afford her rent at one time, was gradually becoming a multi-millionaire through its success.  And then if that wasn’t enough, she found out she was pregnant.

All of the dreams this now famous woman thought would never be hers, were all erupting at once.  She sold the company for a reported $120 million US, wrote a best selling book, married the handsome Jason and gave birth to a beautiful baby girl.  And the show followed the lot.

I’ll admit I cried through a lot of it and like millions of other now die hard Bethenny fans, used her as inspiration to believe that so too might I be able to one day get the lot if I sift through my crap.

No doubt along with her fans, I grieved recently when news broke that her marriage was over.  With all this going on, and both sides of the marriage struggling to find themselves in the chaos of it all, as happens every day all over the world, the real world, they had to go their separate ways.

Australia will get to know Bethenny soon as she joins Ellen on her trip to Australia.  Although her marriage didn’t work, she was gifted with a divine child.  Her inspiration now for millions of people will be to show others that she can forgive herself for the romantic relationship not working out, but to appreciate that it was meant to happen to bring her baby girl into this world.

I’ve heard it said that God doesn’t throw us anything we can’t handle.  A little tough to suck up at certain points in our lives, granted.  But when the gift of a child is part of a union that came to an end, then was any of it really ever a tragic mistake?   Does anyone really need to keep beating themselves up?

DO YOU FIND IT HARD TO LET GO OF THE RELATIONSHIP?  HOW HAVE YOU DEALT WITH YOUR DIVORCE?