TALK, DARK AND HANDSOME HEY? BUT IS HE..

The other week I ran into Australia’s Next Top model judge, Charlotte Dawson, and we ended up on the same topic that we often share notes on, and that is ‘dating’.

Are we or aren’t we?  And is there anyone worth discussing? Sadly, much of the time, I feel like I have very little to share on this subject, but this time Charlotte confided that she’d recently had a little dabble with dating via rsvp.com.au.

Now, before you make a note to yourself never to bother telling me anything unless you want it broadcasted to the world, I will add that she ended up sharing it that morning on Sunrise as we both did our ‘Kochie’s angels’ stint.

She was however ‘RSVP outted’ by a Sydney paper so pre-maturely had to call it quits.

All was not completely lost however as she said she had made contact, and ‘plans’ with 3 rather hot looking men.  Not bad, as that’s 3 more than many of us have met in a much longer stretch of time.

Curious as to what sort of experience the online dating world would actually be, I set myself up with a profile, on 3 or 4 sites, to see how it all worked.  Or should I say, as research for this column….

Within 48 hours I could bear it no longer, I had to take all profiles down.  I am clearly either not open to this new, weird, stranger world, or I have a clear case of thinking I’m something that I’m not.

Either way, it wasn’t for me.  Every time a face popped up wanting a chat, I’d completely freak out, hiding under the blankets.  It’s unusual that I’m single, I know!

But I was curious to ask others – others with less ‘issues’ than I, if they believed online dating, should get the thumbs up, or thumbs well and truly down?

I won’t lie, there were plenty of stories along the lines of people turning up and looking nothing like their photos.  Photos of tall, dark handsome men, only to look more Danny Devito as the friendship went ‘live’.

One poor darling said she’d been chatting nicely with a young chap for over 3 weeks, including exchanging photos and all the rest, and then they arranged to meet up for coffee on The Parade in Norwood.  She walks up and says, “Hi, I’m….”, and he looks her up and down, then says, “I don’t think this is going to work out!”, and the promptly walks away.

Then another ‘guy’, and yes I’ll repeat, ‘guy’, met up with a girl he’d met online.  They had a rather merry night at the pub and she asked him to go home with her for a chat, which resulted in him staying the night.

He recalls “I fell asleep, when I woke in the morning I discovered a web cam and a hell of a lot of e mails from people who had watched the previous nights activity broadcast over the Internet, to this day I look back and hope I put in a world class performance as I have never had the guts to search and view.”

Don’t get me wrong though, all the stories weren’t bad. Far from.

One lady shared, “George was on Oasis for only a couple of days and was about to delete his profile as he didn’t like the sort of women that were on there……to cut a long story short, we eloped on Main Beach in Surfers in April thus year & we’re expecting our first child together any day now – a daughter (after 4 boys between us)”

And then just as I start to re-think my online decision, I hear “mum met this guy online and ended up engaged and she was on his computer and found a book he had written on meeting a fat woman, killing them and cooking them! Honest to god it’s true!!! Hope this helps. Lauren”

Alas Lauren, NO it does not.

AUSTRALIA'S NEXT TOP MODEL, STARRING 'MY' BRITTNEY DUDLEY

There’s nothing like making yourself feel old and ordinary than spending a day surrounded by Adelaide’s hottest young girls!  I know this for a fact as I spent last Saturday down at Rundle Mall hosting the auditions for Australia’s Next Top Model!  As they trotted up in droves, most of them wearing denim shorts that were so small that one girl stood up and appeared to have what some would call a wedgie, only of the frontal kind!

As I stood there admiring what a good looking bunch of women we have here in Adelaide, I couldn’t help but feel that there was something not so beautiful about young girls pinning so much hope on whether or not they were deemed ‘model material’ and wondering how many would leave that day with more than a few confidence issues?  Oh well, I thought, at least they’re not sitting at home flicking through the pages of Girlfriend magazine and thinking, “Why can’t that be me?” because presumably, all those assembled thought, “yeah, that is me!”

Australia’s Next Top Model judges Charlotte Dawson and Lizzie Leighton Clark from Priscilla’s Model Management were on hand, to cull the herd! You have to hand it to Charlotte, as she politely job of found 250 fresh ways of saying “don’t call us we’ll call you!” Not only that but she’d only just got her voice back after doing the same in Sydney, Melbourne and Bendigo for their auditions!

In between watching our girls strutting back and forth up the stage, she was having to endure calls from interstate journalists all wanting an explanation as to why they believed, after reading an interview Charlotte had done regarding the competition where the journalist had made out she’d said that ‘plus size models’ didn’t stand a chance in the competition! For the record Charlotte said, “realistically, they may not win!”

Proving how ugly the business of modelling can be, even for those such as herself working behind the scenes, she was berated ferociously by one particular interviewer who accused her of having ‘no business’ to make comment on the beauty industry given she had had so much botox and collagen that she was ‘too hideous’ to make comment!

Proving that Charlotte’s own days of being a successful model, and no doubt having had to deal with plenty of ‘not so pretty’ situations, she shot back at this awful woman by yelling “But I’m not trying to be Australia’s Next Top Model!”

During a quick lunchbreak, I sat shovelling a salad, rather than a preferred hamburger into my mouth, alongside Lizzie from Priscilla’s, a 15-year-old girl by the name of Britney Dudley (watch this name cause I predict she may win the competition), politely interrupted our lunch by enquiring, “excuse me? Am I too late to audition?” As I looked up, possibly letting salad fall from my mouth, standing before me was the most ‘breath-taking’ girl I’d ever seen!  As the ‘cool’ drained from my body, I tried to speak but no words came out! Instead I found myself embarrassingly paralysed by her beauty, and all I could do was prod Lizzie in the arm, and like a Neanderthal grunted at her to speak to this girl, IMMEDIATELY.

Thankfully for this beautiful girl, she accompanied by mother who seemed down to earth, and even bewildered by the reaction to her daughter, who until recently was working as a check-out chick at Woollies!

Another mother, daughter duo turned heads that day for slightly different reasons! Both mum and daughter, who appeared to be no older than maybe 17, seemed to be sporting matching boob jobs! Not going unnoticed by the film crew, who scrambled to get footage of what no doubt will make the promo, but not so much the contest!

I felt a little sad for the young girl! She didn’t make it that day, and you have to hope that she’s not pinning all her hopes on her surgically enhanced chest, or at least if she is, that the rejection will hopefully bounce right off?

WHO ARE YOU LOVING ON THIS SERIES?  WHO’S YOUR PICK TO WIN?