I was enjoying a lovely weekend away with a friend just recently when her phone rang and her whole demeanor suddenly changed, and although I didn’t know who was on the call, I could tell it was something bad.
As she hung up the phone, she reminded me that her close friends, a married couple of many years, had lost their only child. Their son who was 27 years old.
She warned me that they were coming around, and they were not in a good way. From what I’d heard, and seen from photos, he was a good looking boy but sadly immersed in very dark side.
So I braced myself for being in their no doubt intense place of grief and wondered how I should behave or what to say considering I wasn’t familiar with them as people. A very intimate place to be.
I soon sensed that there was a huge gaping emotional hole between them, and one that I feared might eventually tear them apart. For the mother, as I’ll call her as this was certainly her most important role in the scheme of this situation, was confused, restless and very angry.
Whilst the father, intermittently would be overcome with emotion and just start to silently break down. It was like a shadow would come over him and this enormous wave of grief just drowned him for however long each episode would last.
And it was tragic because she, the mother of the deceased child, his wife, would look over at him and offer nothing but a disconnect. No arm extended in support, just an almost disdane for his perhaps weakness in her eyes.
What became apparent was the difference they had in terms of dealing with their grief was that she had no religious or spiritual belief.
So for her she had nothing but questions to cling onto and clearly none of those were being answered. And realistically may never be.
But the father at least he believed in whatever his version of heaven and god happened to be. So for him, the son was gone, but although unsure of exactly where to, at least he believed he’d gone somewhere, presumably to a better place.
It’s no wonder the world will always continue to argue and be at war over differing opinions and beliefs over god.
Even in the most horrendous, extreme examples of people’s beliefs being suicide bombers, there are those that feel honoured to die by their own hand with the idea that they go to some sort of paradise, where they’re greeted by a bevy of woman ready to give them pleasure.
There are certain religions in this country that are equally getting all sorts of horrendous press, and they are forcing us to look at the bigger picture. Is what so many of us believe, really so perfect and understandable to their non-believers?
All I know is that I feel religion, or ‘a belief’, is one of those things that more and more we will come to rely on with so much turmoil going on in the world.
There’s nothing wrong with shopping around to find out what fits best for you, in fact surely it makes perfect sense?
I mean, I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to sell you a Fridge or a new TV type of thing, I mean of course none of your white goods are going to help you in those times when life suddenly changes as you know it, are they?
But if your parents raised you just telling you that we as a family only buy Westinghouse, would that mean you’d never research another brand? If it’s that an important an decision?
Religion should not be dictated or forced. Isn’t that our issue ‘with them’? Those fantantical types that don’t ask questions and don’t seem to have freedom of choice. Yet so many of us don’t question what our own beliefs supposedly are.
There should be more of us shopping around for our religions in these times. Not just copping the first one that came along.
HAVE YOU FOUND A NEW RELIGION THAT YOU DIDN’T START OUT WITH? TELL US ABOUT IT