I was enjoying a lovely weekend away with a friend just recently when her phone rang and her whole demeanor suddenly changed, and although I didn’t know who was on the call, I could tell it was something bad.

As she hung up the phone, she reminded me that her close friends, a married couple of many years, had lost their only child.  Their son who was 27 years old.

She warned me that they were coming around, and they were not in a good way.  From what I’d heard, and seen from photos, he was a good looking boy but sadly immersed in very dark side.

So I braced myself for being in their no doubt intense place of grief and wondered how I should behave or what to say considering I wasn’t familiar with them as people.  A very intimate place to be.

I soon sensed that there was a huge gaping emotional hole between them, and one that I feared might eventually tear them apart.  For the mother, as I’ll call her as this was certainly her most important role in the scheme of this situation, was confused, restless and very angry.

Whilst the father, intermittently would be overcome with emotion and just start to silently break down.  It was like a shadow would come over him and this enormous wave of grief just drowned him for however long each episode would last.

And it was tragic because she, the mother of the deceased child, his wife, would look over at him and offer nothing but a disconnect.  No arm extended in support, just an almost disdane for his perhaps weakness in her eyes.

What became apparent was the difference they had in terms of dealing with their grief was that she had no religious or spiritual belief.

So for her she had nothing but questions to cling onto and clearly none of those were being answered.  And realistically may never be.

But the father at least he believed in whatever his version of heaven and god happened to be.  So for him, the son was gone, but although unsure of exactly where to, at least he believed he’d gone somewhere, presumably to a better place.

It’s no wonder the world will always continue to argue and be at war over differing opinions and beliefs over god.

Even in the most horrendous, extreme examples of people’s beliefs being suicide bombers, there are those that feel honoured to die by their own hand with the idea that they go to some sort of paradise, where they’re greeted by a bevy of woman ready to give them pleasure.

There are certain religions in this country that are equally getting all sorts of horrendous press, and they are forcing us to look at the bigger picture.  Is what so many of us believe, really so perfect and understandable to their non-believers?

All I know is that I feel religion, or ‘a belief’, is one of those things that more and more we will come to rely on with so much turmoil going on in the world.

There’s nothing wrong with shopping around to find out what fits best for you, in fact surely it makes perfect sense?

I mean, I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to sell you a Fridge or a new TV type of thing, I mean of course none of your white goods are going to help you in those times when life suddenly changes as you know it, are they?

But if your parents raised you just telling you that we as a family only buy Westinghouse, would that mean you’d never research another brand?  If it’s that an important an decision?

Religion should not be dictated or forced.  Isn’t that our issue ‘with them’?  Those fantantical types that don’t ask questions and don’t seem to have freedom of choice.  Yet so many of us don’t question what our own beliefs supposedly are.

There should be more of us shopping around for our religions in these times.   Not just copping the first one that came along.



  1. I was bought up a Catholic but now I am agnostic. I neither believe or disbelieve. Until there is concrete proof of anything I believe the Bible is man’s interpretation of a tome written in a time where the world had not evolved much in any way and a lot of it is fiction. I have recently lost my mother and brother within a space of seven weeks. My Mum suffered from severe depression and my brother had schizophrenia. During my period of bereavement I have found that I find solace in knowing they are now at peace and like to think of them as part of the universe in some form of energy. Both my mother and brother were strict Catholics and believed everything written in the Bible and it affected every waking hour of their live and with my brother to the point of obsession and really unhealthy thinking. For this reason I abhor the strict teachings of this Church. To make someone believe that they will go to hell and burn if they do not live a certain way is a very dangerous form of brainwashing. On the other hand I have heard that people of great faith often deal with life and death in a calmer way than say people who have no faith or belief in anything.

  2. hi!,I like your writing so a lot! percentage we communicate extra about your article on AOL?
    I require a specialist in this area to solve my problem. Maybe that’s you!
    Looking forward to look you.

  3. I write a comment when I especially enjoy a post on a site or if I
    have something to contribute to the conversation. Usually it is triggered
    by the sincerness communicated in the post I browsed.

    FIND ONE THAT FITS | Amber Petty. I was moved
    enough to drop a thought 🙂 I actually do have 2 questions for you if it’s okay.

    Could it be just me or do some of these comments
    appear as if they are written by brain dead visitors?
    😛 And, if you are writing on other social sites, I would
    like to follow everything fresh you have to post. Could you
    list every one of your social pages like your Facebook page,
    twitter feed, or linkedin profile?

  4. I’ll immediately seize your rss as I can not to find your e-mail subscription hyperlink or e-newsletter service.
    Do you’ve any? Kindly permit me recognise in order that I may just
    subscribe. Thanks.

Leave a Reply