Looking bored out of your skull at a fashion event is apparently always ‘on trend’….

I’d be absolutely hopeless working in the fashion industry because everyone seems to take themselves so frighteningly seriously and I just cannt keep a straight face with so much pouting going on.  I’m not talking the shop floor type of fashion, I’m talking the design, catwalk and fashionably fabulous periphery crowd. Looking bored out of your skull is the look of every season.

I’m not usually in the thick of the fashion bustle but I was temporarily last week as I attended a gathering of fashion types at an event where some of Australia’s top designers were on hand to chat about their winter collections.

As I slunk back in a corner to hear what was on it’s way, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was the only one in the room having a little lost in translation moment?  Or I thought, maybe I’m over thinking their under thinking, or maybe I just shouldn’t be there?

So picture the scene if you will, a very elegant fashion writer of some note is chatting to the designer about a white pantsuit in her new range.  She looks to the audience, as if she might be about to make an enormous confession and says “you see, people tend to think that you can’t wear white in winter,” queue the dramatic pause, “but actually, you can, it’s called Winter White.”

Now this would have been fine if she’d delivered it with a bit less Meryl Streep circa Sophie’s Choice, and more Jennifer Anniston in Friend’s.  The crowd however seemed to think this rather genius and a wave of relieved smiles broke out around the room like a Mexican wave.

Then with another designer the Anna Wintour look-a-like asks the designer what he thinks the winter staples should be?  To which a lesser fashionable type might have thought she was suggesting we all duck into Office Works before it gets chilly, with the designer thoughtfully replying “Well I always think you can’t go past a good, wool coat.”

Hating the cynical bubble I couldn’t seem to pop out of, I once again inner chatted, ‘now I’m certainly no Victoria Beckham sitting front row at a show in New York, but I could probably work out that in winter, one might need a coat?

And it went on and on.  What’s going to be hot this year colour wise? “Block colour with black is fantastic this year” said some designer with a thick foreign that immediately gave him twice the credibility of any designer there.  Or did it?  I mean, block colour with black? Do you mean a coloured top with a black bottom? Am I missing something else here?

I think it’s just the whole seriousness that fashion people get when talking about fashion.  Like the concept of ‘layering’ as it was discussed for ten minutes or so, just so we understood it’s importance to our lives, while the audience appeared to never have heard anything like it before.  As I appeared to not scream ‘is layering like that thing you do when you put extra clothes on as the weather gets colder?’

I’m nearly done but what is it about fashion events that requires more walkie-talkies than the Super bowl or the remake of ET?  It’s not a Presidents’ convention or a UN Summit but wow do they like to be wired up.  Really, what’s the worst thing that can happen?  A model goes for six or someone sits in someone more fabulous’s seat?

When my fashion event came to a close and Anna Wintour let’s just call her, pleaded with us not to leave the department store without all of us buying a leather skirt, presumably in case we planned on auditioning for a Robert Plant video later that night, I wondered how it is that such creative people manage to get so generic when talking about their visions?

There’s just something about fashion events that make me want to run home, get in my trackies and devour a chiko roll.

I’d be absolutely hopeless working in the fashion industry because everyone seems to take themselves so frighteningly seriously and I just cannt keep a straight face with so much pouting going on.  I’m not talking the shop floor type of fashion, I’m talking the design, catwalk and fashionably fabulous periphery crowd. Looking bored out of your skull is the look of every season.

I’m not usually in the thick of the fashion bustle but I was temporarily last week as I attended a gathering of fashion types at an event where some of Australia’s top designers were on hand to chat about their winter collections.

As I slunk back in a corner to hear what was on it’s way, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was the only one in the room having a little lost in translation moment?  Or I thought, maybe I’m over thinking their under thinking, or maybe I just shouldn’t be there?

So picture the scene if you will, a very elegant fashion writer of some note is chatting to the designer about a white pantsuit in her new range.  She looks to the audience, as if she might be about to make an enormous confession and says “you see, people tend to think that you can’t wear white in winter,” queue the dramatic pause, “but actually, you can, it’s called Winter White.”

Now this would have been fine if she’d delivered it with a bit less Meryl Streep circa Sophie’s Choice, and more Jennifer Anniston in Friend’s.  The crowd however seemed to think this rather genius and a wave of relieved smiles broke out around the room like a Mexican wave.

Then with another designer the Anna Wintour look-a-like asks the designer what he thinks the winter staples should be?  To which a lesser fashionable type might have thought she was suggesting we all duck into Office Works before it gets chilly, with the designer thoughtfully replying “Well I always think you can’t go past a good, wool coat.”

Hating the cynical bubble I couldn’t seem to pop out of, I once again inner chatted, ‘now I’m certainly no Victoria Beckham sitting front row at a show in New York, but I could probably work out that in winter, one might need a coat?

And it went on and on.  What’s going to be hot this year colour wise? “Block colour with black is fantastic this year” said some designer with a thick foreign that immediately gave him twice the credibility of any designer there.  Or did it?  I mean, block colour with black? Do you mean a coloured top with a black bottom? Am I missing something else here?

I think it’s just the whole seriousness that fashion people get when talking about fashion.  Like the concept of ‘layering’ as it was discussed for ten minutes or so, just so we understood it’s importance to our lives, while the audience appeared to never have heard anything like it before.  As I appeared to not scream ‘is layering like that thing you do when you put extra clothes on as the weather gets colder?’

I’m nearly done but what is it about fashion events that requires more walkie-talkies than the Super bowl or the remake of ET?  It’s not a Presidents’ convention or a UN Summit but wow do they like to be wired up.  Really, what’s the worst thing that can happen?  A model goes for six or someone sits in someone more fabulous’s seat?

When my fashion event came to a close and Anna Wintour let’s just call her, pleaded with us not to leave the department store without all of us buying a leather skirt, presumably in case we planned on auditioning for a Robert Plant video later that night, I wondered how it is that such creative people manage to get so generic when talking about their visions?

There’s just something about fashion events that make me want to run home, get in my trackies and devour a chiko roll.

I’d be absolutely hopeless working in the fashion industry because everyone seems to take themselves so frighteningly seriously and I just cannt keep a straight face with so much pouting going on.  I’m not talking the shop floor type of fashion, I’m talking the design, catwalk and fashionably fabulous periphery crowd. Looking bored out of your skull is the look of every season.

I’m not usually in the thick of the fashion bustle but I was temporarily last week as I attended a gathering of fashion types at an event where some of Australia’s top designers were on hand to chat about their winter collections.

As I slunk back in a corner to hear what was on it’s way, I couldn’t help but wonder if I was the only one in the room having a little lost in translation moment?  Or I thought, maybe I’m over thinking their under thinking, or maybe I just shouldn’t be there?

So picture the scene if you will, a very elegant fashion writer of some note is chatting to the designer about a white pantsuit in her new range.  She looks to the audience, as if she might be about to make an enormous confession and says “you see, people tend to think that you can’t wear white in winter,” queue the dramatic pause, “but actually, you can, it’s called Winter White.”

Now this would have been fine if she’d delivered it with a bit less Meryl Streep circa Sophie’s Choice, and more Jennifer Anniston in Friend’s.  The crowd however seemed to think this rather genius and a wave of relieved smiles broke out around the room like a Mexican wave.

Then with another designer the Anna Wintour look-a-like asks the designer what he thinks the winter staples should be?  To which a lesser fashionable type might have thought she was suggesting we all duck into Office Works before it gets chilly, with the designer thoughtfully replying “Well I always think you can’t go past a good, wool coat.”

Hating the cynical bubble I couldn’t seem to pop out of, I once again inner chatted, ‘now I’m certainly no Victoria Beckham sitting front row at a show in New York, but I could probably work out that in winter, one might need a coat?

And it went on and on.  What’s going to be hot this year colour wise? “Block colour with black is fantastic this year” said some designer with a thick foreign that immediately gave him twice the credibility of any designer there.  Or did it?  I mean, block colour with black? Do you mean a coloured top with a black bottom? Am I missing something else here?

I think it’s just the whole seriousness that fashion people get when talking about fashion.  Like the concept of ‘layering’ as it was discussed for ten minutes or so, just so we understood it’s importance to our lives, while the audience appeared to never have heard anything like it before.  As I appeared to not scream ‘is layering like that thing you do when you put extra clothes on as the weather gets colder?’

I’m nearly done but what is it about fashion events that requires more walkie-talkies than the Super bowl or the remake of ET?  It’s not a Presidents’ convention or a UN Summit but wow do they like to be wired up.  Really, what’s the worst thing that can happen?  A model goes for six or someone sits in someone more fabulous’s seat?

When my fashion event came to a close and Anna Wintour let’s just call her, pleaded with us not to leave the department store without all of us buying a leather skirt, presumably in case we planned on auditioning for a Robert Plant video later that night, I wondered how it is that such creative people manage to get so generic when talking about their visions?

There’s just something about fashion events that make me want to run home, get in my trackies and devour a chiko roll.

741 thoughts on “Looking bored out of your skull at a fashion event is apparently always ‘on trend’….

  1. Joe Seg ps. ‘There’s something about fashion events that make me want to run home and get in my trackies’ – gold!
    about an hour ago · Unlike · 2

    Sue Campbell I know the feeling. I felt that way going to horse events with my best friends ie putting hoof paint on, adding mane extensions etc .. god bless
    58 minutes ago · Like

    Amber Petty hahah that’s funny Sue! x
    a few seconds ago · Like

  2. View 1 more comment

    Paul Wood Amber There was a toss-up for my fave line. it was either this or:

    “Really, what’s the worst thing that can happen? A model goes for six or someone sits in the seat of someone more fabulous than they are.”

    Hahaha. Love it.
    6 hours ago · Like

    Amber Petty I’ve got to go to another one in a week or two – although the designer is a good friend – I’ll take some photos of the seriously fashionable………and I’ll start practising my “arhhh, no I’m definitely more bored than you darling” look
    3 hours ago · Like

    Paul Wood You’ll be in the front row, so obviously everyone will take you v seriously.
    3 hours ago · Like

    Amber Petty hahaha, if only they knew how seriously I won’t be taking myself
    about an hour ago · Like

    • Whenever I see a fashion event or interact with fashion … people … I can’t help but be reminded of that scene in Sex & The City, where Carrie Bradshaw goes for a sixer on the runway at a fashion show. In amongst all the horrified gasps from the rows of audience, the show director, played by Margaret Cho, utters those (to me anyway) immortal lines;

      “F*** Me Hard!”

  3. Steven Birchby and Jimmy Harrington like this.

    Melinda Robertson Cos theyre starving
    16 minutes ago · Unlike · 1

    Tina Lee I think you might be too normal, lol. Those Q & A’s are hilarious. It seems like they are taking the micky but they aren’t, scary stuff, Going to go re read it its a crack up
    2 minutes ago · Like

    Amber Petty I know Tina – I honestly stood there thinking “is someone taking the piss here? Is someone going to laugh and then we’ll all relax?” But it doesn’t happen…..it never happens in those scenes………I must be too much of a bogan to get it
    a few seconds ago · Like

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