I DON’T LIE ABOUT MY AGE, BUT I DO LIE ABOUT MY DOG’S AGE…

 

I DON’T lie about my age. Even though if you listen to some of these twits on commercial radio lately you’d think they’d never met a person over the age of 40.

But that’s not to say that I don’t lie about age as such. I do about my dog’s age.

It’s been years now since I’ve been trying to tell people my Maltese Shitzu, Marley, was about three or four.

But lately it’s been getting harder to make eye contact as I do this. I can’t rely on the fact that those who know me may not have failed veggie maths like I did.

But I do this for what I believe to be mental survival.

I do it because I think if I personally stop the words cascading from my lips, then it will simply stop his ageing process, like a bit of Botox in the head. I need him more than me to stay forever young.

I even wonder if those guys I once deemed weird, who fall in love with life-size blow-up dolls, aren’t just like me who never wants to lose something they love?

People replace their kids’ goldfish to prevent pain, so why not just get something plastic, knowing you’ll outlive it unless you leave it in the sun?

Yet, realising that my age vagueness was possibly getting a bit silly, I’ve been pushing myself to get real by admitting, “’You know what (pause, deep breath), I have an awful feeling he might be five this year.”

Problem is, I might still be lying. I don’t know. My lies have been going on for so long they feel like they’re true.

Until along comes the new vet guy, who with such brute force he might as well have been an Australian cameraman in Bali, says: “So little Marley’s six and he’ll be turning seven this year?”

Excuse me? We might need to make another appointment, mate, because I think I’m going to use the rest of this one to stare at you like Ivan Milat.

How dare he? I wasn’t ready for that. I was just there to be a good mum by getting him his shots. I didn’t go there to get one in my own heart.

In one second this overzealous paper trail freak just robbed me of my right to denial.

This is my first dog, and I will not prepare myself for the time when he’s gone. I’ve got no back-up in the form of a gambling addiction or a tub of ice cream the size of the Malls Balls to fall back on.

I cringe when I hear about people losing their pets, especially their dogs or cats.

Although I totally get the loss of a terrapin can come with its own pain, it’s just I doubt they’ll also miss spooning the little guy in bed.

And I think for those who suffer this kind of loss, if their employer, friends and the whole flipping world doesn’t cut them a lot of grief slack, given they have just lost one of the great loves of their lives, then nothing short of an arrest will suffice.

OK, maybe that’s a bit much … however, I am still reeling from my moment of vet truth this week.

And annoyingly, all of a sudden my basic maths talent, that I never had back at school, seems to be now screaming at me the answer to how many years my little mate and I might have left.

And quite frankly … it is not enough. It’ll never be enough.

While I’ve always thought the whole taxidermy concept to be a bit of a gag-fest, there’s the deeply deranged part inside me that wonders if in my grief hysteria, on that fateful day my little guy goes to doggie heaven, I might be the type to have my angel stuffed, with a pig’s ear hanging from his mouth?

And maybe, I’ll be that bad that when my time comes I’ll get myself stuffed next to him…

146 thoughts on “I DON’T LIE ABOUT MY AGE, BUT I DO LIE ABOUT MY DOG’S AGE…

  1. Naturally you will want to be as successful as possible in your jobss to keep your energy up and increase your stats.
    90s and noughties: now companies are striving to find
    common ground with their customers, so they can plug themselves int
    the fruitful social environment thzt has been created
    by the Internet and its major networking sites. Jomm
    – Social is created to make lots of new friends, re-connect
    with old ones, share relationships about common interests, or link with other membrrs aas professionals.

    Feel ree to visit my site; woozworld hack

  2. There are five bedrooms, a three bedroom guest house, seven bathrooms, six garages in the
    main villa. Eveen iron won’t survive in soil without breaking down to some
    extent. Most of the entries inn thhe Annals are much shorter iin
    length and different in tone, for instance most entries are
    the name of the person, date of birth and atee of death, maybe an exploit or two, but never the degail of the Arthur
    entry.

    My web ite :: Cheats for clash of clans

  3. Make sure she has some alcohol for further relaxation. Whether one is traveling the beaches oof Rio de Janiero oor the ruins of Machu Pichu, the Boblbee Megalopolis Executive Hardshell Backpack is the ultimafe
    in backpacks designed to protect its contets while reflecting a very unique style.
    It is both a case of ‘good manners’ and differences in
    skeletal connections.

    Feel free to visit my website: megapolis cheats

  4. Yоu really makе іt seem really easy toցether wіth yօur presentation Ƅut I fіnd thiѕ topic tο be actuаlly somethіng which I believе I woսld
    by nօ meаns understand. It kinɗ of feels too complex anԀ extremely huge for me.
    I’m ɦaving a loօk forward for your subsequent publish, І’ll attempt tߋ get the hold of it!

    Alsߋ visit mʏ website … clash of clans hack

  5. Good post. I learn something new and challenging on sites I stumbleupon everyday.
    It will always be interesting to read through content from other authors and use something from their sites.

  6. Please let me know if you’re looking for a article
    writer for your weblog. You have some really great posts and I think I would be a good asset.
    If you ever want to take some of the load off, I’d really like
    to write some material for your blog in exchange for a link back to mine.
    Please send me an e-mail if interested. Cheers!

    My web page clash of clans cheats

  7. Pretty section of content. I just stumbled upon
    your website and in accession capital to assert that I acquire in fact
    enjoyed account your blog posts. Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently fast.

    My weblog whatsapp spy,

  8. An impressive share! I have just forwarded this onto a co-worker who has been conducting a little homework
    on this. And he in fact bought me lunch due to the fact
    that I stumbled upon it for him… lol. So let me reword this….

    Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending the time to discuss this matter here on your website.

    my web page … clash of clans hack tool

  9. Fine way of describing, and pleasant post to take information on the topic of my presentation topic, which i am going to deliver
    in institution of higher education.

  10. I’m really loving the theme/design of your site. Do you ever
    run into any internet browser compatibility issues?
    A few of my blog visitors have complained about my blog not working correctly in Explorer but looks great in Chrome.
    Do you have any suggestions to help fix this problem?

  11. 166378 610596Exceptional weblog here! Also your internet internet site loads up rapidly! What host are you employing? Can I get your affiliate link to your host? I wish my internet site loaded up as speedily as yours lol 323615

  12. Can I simply just say what a relief to discover somebody that
    really understands what they’re discussing on the internet.
    You certainly realize how to bring a problem to light and make it important.
    A lot more people really need to look at this and understand this side of the
    story. It’s surprising you’re not more popular because you surely have the gift.

    Visit my web blog – clash of clans hack

  13. 798763 632836Pretty section of content material. I just stumbled upon your weblog and in accession capital to assert that I get truly enjoyed account your weblog posts. Any way I will likely be subscribing to your augment and even I achievement you access consistently swiftly. 262299

  14. 418742 554360Extremely very best man toasts, nicely toasts. is directed building your personal by way with the wedding celebration as a result are supposed to try to be witty, amusing and consequently unusual as effectively as. very best mans speech 538317

  15. 869970 764713We supply you with a table of all of the emoticons that can be used on this application, and the meaning of each symbol. Though it may well take some initial effort on your part, the skills garnered from regular and strategic use of social media will create a strong foundation to grow your business on ALL levels. 901456

  16. 407664 323612Following study numerous the websites together with your website now, and that i genuinely appreciate your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and are checking back soon. Pls have a look at my web page likewise and let me know in the event you agree. 483369

  17. 715080 993394Greetings! This really is my very first comment here so I just wanted to give a quick shout out and let you know I genuinely enjoy reading by means of your weblog posts. Can you recommend any other blogs/websites/forums that deal with exactly the same topics? Thank you so significantly! 171837

  18. 232291 882962 I discovered your weblog web site on google and check several of your early posts. Continue to maintain up the really excellent operate. I just additional up your RSS feed to my MSN News Reader. Seeking forward to reading a lot more from you later on!

  19. 334021 84778Its like you read my mind! You appear to know so a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I believe that you can do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but instead of that, this is fantastic blog. A great read. I

  20. 865908 738777Considerably, the story is in reality the greatest on this noteworthy subject. I agree along with your conclusions and will eagerly watch forward to your next updates. Saying good 1 will not just be sufficient, for the amazing clarity within your writing. I will immediately grab your rss feed to stay privy of any updates! 83795

  21. 12335 596074Following study a couple of of the blog articles for your web site now, and that i truly like your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark website list and are checking back soon. Pls consider my internet website too and inform me what you consider. 581228

  22. What the heck i just read? The primary factor is to discuss with a health care provider prior to making use of this supplement.
    The extract of Hemorrhoids Treatment Cure is available such as pills and products and asking a physician will
    give you a transparent perception of the point that will
    it fit you or not. This supplement generally fits the requirements of all the men and women but
    exceptions are usually there. So, you might want to ensure
    that you usually are not normally the one that can not make use of
    this product. Another thing is regarding the dose. You need to question your medical professional concerning absorption and be specific
    regarding it authentic Hemorrhoids Treatment Cure.
    WOW.Nice read here. The genuine factor to exactly how the product will work is it can be a
    dual action diet supplement, which means that functions
    being an appetite suppressant as well as a “fat burner”. This actually implies that it oxidizes your fat units through the
    use of anti-oxidants, and also results in additional
    power for you – however , only if know how to take authentic Hemorrhoids Treatment Cure in the suitable manner.Virtually all diet products on the market today were created around reving up your metabolic process, which is not really harmless for many of
    us – and this is the reason why so many people decide
    to obtain Hemorrhoids Treatment Cure extract
    instead.

  23. 744880 180416When I initially commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now each time a remark is added I get four emails with exactly the same comment. Is there any manner you possibly can take away me from that service? Thanks! 851109

  24. 335095 192576Most reliable human being messages, nicely toasts. are already provided gradually during the entire wedding celebration and therefore are anticipated to be very laid back, humorous and as well as new all at once. best man speech 918248

  25. What the heck i just read? The initial idea is to discuss with
    a doctor prior to making use of this product. The extract of Garcinia Cambogia is offered in the
    form of supplements and tablets and talking to a physician
    can provide you a clear understanding of the fact that will it fit your needs or not.
    The product typically suits the needs of all of the persons but exclusions are always there.
    So, you might want to ensure that you are not the
    one that are unable to work with this item.
    Essential problem is regarding the medication dosage.

    You have to ask your personal doctor about the absorption and be special about it authentic Garcinia Cambogia.

    WOW.Nice read here. The real step to how this product is effective is it
    is really a dual action diet solution, and therefore functions as
    being an appetite reducing drug plus a “fat burner”.
    This actually implies that it oxidizes fat units through the use of anti-oxidants, and also ends in additional strength for you – however , only when you know how to use authentic Garcinia Cambogia in the
    proper style.A lot of diet goods on the market were created all over reving up
    your fat burning capacity, that is not really healthy for many people –
    and that is why many people are deciding to buy Garcinia Cambogia extract instead.

  26. With havin so much content do you ever run into any issues of plagorism or copyright infringement?
    My site has a lot of completely unique content I’ve either written myself or outsourced but it seems a lot of it is popping
    it up all over the internet without my permission. Do you
    know any solutions to help prevent content from being stolen?
    I’d definitely appreciate it.

    Here is my web blog :: clash of clans hack

  27. 824830 667695Couldn?t be produced any far better. Reading this post reminds me of my old room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this report to him. Pretty certain he will possess a excellent read. Thanks for sharing! 376279

  28. 848878 321529Your home is valueble for me. Thanks!? This internet page is actually a walk-via for all with the details you required about this and didn know who to ask. Glimpse proper here, and you l undoubtedly uncover it. 662222

  29. Unquestionably believe that which you stated.
    Your favorite justification seemed to be onn the net the easiest thing to be aware of.
    I say to you,I definitely get annoyed while ppeople think about worries that they plainly don’t know about.

    You managed to hit the nail upon the top andd also defined ouut the whole thing without having side-effects
    , people ccan take a signal. Will likoely be back to get more.

    Thanks

    Feeel ftee to surf tto my blog post – sbobet mix parlay

  30. Oh my goodness! Incredible article dude!
    Thank you so much, However I am encountering troubles with your RSS.

    I don’t understand the reason why I can’t join it.
    Is there anybody getting identical RSS issues? Anyone who knows the solution can
    you kindly respond? Thanx!!

    my blog post :: clash of clans hack

  31. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own blog
    and was curious what all is needed to get set up? I’m assuming having a
    blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web smart so I’m not 100% positive.
    Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.
    Kudos

    Feel free to visit my page clash of clans hack

  32. 55mm headset jack located in the bottom that gets
    rid of headset wires from covering the display.
    2011 perhaps will become “intelligent TV or the reign of an emperor”.
    With the Marketplace App users can sell anything free.

    my webpage; social app

  33. 302090 871533you are in point of fact a very good webmaster. The internet site loading velocity is remarkable. It seems that you are performing any distinctive trick. In addition, The contents are masterpiece. you

  34. The new “Oregon Trail” app has officially gone live on
    Facebook in the Beta phase as of February 2nd,
    2011. How many of these would like money to receive messages.
    i – Pad Tweet – Deck: I find Twitter much more convenient and
    easy to use that other social networking sites-there are
    no lengthy posts to read and the content is fresh and fast.

    my site … double down casino chips generator (Shella)

  35. Leg extensions work on the quadriceps and
    Leg curls work on your hamstrings. That way when
    you finish your daily routine you can cross it off the list and feel good about yourself.
    The placed was filled with all types of specialized
    workout machines that would isolate any and every muscle in your body to help you grow
    stronger.

    Feel free to surf to my site; ab circle pro reviews – Reina,

  36. Author Bio:-The author is a mobile development service provider
    who specializes in android business app and iphone enterprise app.
    Use only good quality components to build the app; this software tool will automatically have superior features and
    will hence be successful in securing user engagement.
    Most are short lived, but a few (like Follow Friday) happen
    once a week.

    Also visit my page: tower of saviors hack

  37. Include the link where you want others to view or download
    your App. After filtering the results, these search engine offers new appropriate as
    well as contemporary well-run outcome to the current
    audiences. i – Pad Tweet – Deck: I find Twitter much more convenient and easy
    to use that other social networking sites-there are no
    lengthy posts to read and the content is fresh and fast.

    My web site; badoo superpowers free

  38. Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of
    any widgets I could add to my blog that automatically tweet my
    newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for quite some time
    and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this.
    Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your
    blog and I look forward to your new updates.

    Also visit my page … m88

  39. Udeniably believe that which you said. Your favorite justification appeared to be onn the web the simpleszt
    thing to be aware of. Issay to you, I definitely get irkeed
    while people consider worries that they plainly do nott know about.

    You managed to hitt the nail upon the toop and also defined out the whole thing without
    having side-effects , people could take a signal. Willl likely be back to get
    more. Thanks

    Review my website … ฟังบอลสดผ่านเน็ต

  40. 628960 973169Exceptional weblog here! Furthermore your internet internet site rather a good deal up rapidly! What host are you employing? Can I get your affiliate hyperlink for your host? I wish my internet site loaded up as rapidly as yours lol. 708922

  41. The new “Oregon Trail” app has officially gone
    live on Facebook in the Beta phase as of February 2nd, 2011.
    The biggest potential issue for consumers is fragmentation and exclusivity.
    com is an app store on the internet; You know an appstore for smart phones where you can download free and paid apps, games,
    ect directly to your phone.

    Also visit my website – hay day hack

  42. Facebook asks the user to enter their phone number and an SMS is sent on the mobiles with a link
    to download the app. After filtering the results, these search engine
    offers new appropriate as well as contemporary well-run outcome to the current audiences.
    This enables users to engage, promote and add value to their contact based,
    again leading ultimately to business and revenue.

    my web page :: Crna Gora leto 2014

Leave a Reply