David Beckham is learning the French language but apparently feeling extremely self-conscious when it comes to trying out his “Oui, Oui’s” in public. Although the popular response to expressing sympathy for someone of extreme wealth, talent and power is very often met with ‘Well don’t feel too sorry for him, he’s got more money than you’d know what to do with!’ I still did have a pang of poor bugger.
I felt sorry for him purely because I’ve got to the stage in life where I believe being embarrassed about trying something new should be one of the plethora’s of life’s feelings that should be consciously relegated to the sidelines for good.
David however is not like the rest of us, even though he too is getting older, but as he’s still got pressure to be the cool, mega star footballer, fashion icon kind of guy, he may have made an expensive rod for his own back.
When you’ve been flapping around in life for some forty plus years, what’s the point in still getting embarrassed about trying something new?
Most of us have tripped over somewhere in public and felt like a twit. Plenty of us have been sacked from a job for whatever reason and felt like a piece of crap. How many of us have been rejected by someone we’ve had a crush on and felt as attractive as a dose of halitosis as a result?
Who hasn’t wrongly assumed we were going to be brilliantly talented at something only to find there was zero audience applause. There’s something about getting to an age where we only care about our own clapping inside.
You’d have to be fairly damaged to not like that little poem “you’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, Love like you’ll never be hurt, Sing like there’s nobody listening, And live like it’s heaven on earth”.
I’ve recently starting studying Tarot reading much to my father’s confusion and let’s be honest, total disgust. I know he’s not the only one that thinks I might have lost the plot by getting into it but there’s just always been that little thing in my heart that’s wanted to explore something a bit out there and see how it fits.
Does it mean I’m about to rush off to Spotlight to purchase some cheap lilac fabric with a silver thread through it? Yes, it might. Is it a problem for me that people might talk behind my back saying I’ve always been bonkers and my card deck and I might be better off seeing a shrink? Nope, because for some reason it makes me feel happy and I’m relishing in the energy of not giving a crystal ball to what anyone thinks.
Nine-year-old Bella asked me last night why I had chosen to start doing Tarot readings. I told her it was because when I was a kid like her I believed there was more to the world than what was being presented to me.
She then said ‘So why didn’t you just start doing it back then?’ I told her that I lost faith and shut up after having pair of scissors and a duster thrown at me by two different religious instruction teachers. Frustrated by my endless questions they put a stop to them by clocking me in the head.
A great thing about getting older is accepting that people focus less on what you’re doing because you’re supposed to have already done it. There’s nothing to be lost in having a crack at something you might have felt foolish in doing once before. The pressure to be perfect is off because we know we’ve all got flaws. The reality is perfection is integrating all the things you are and hoped to be.
I think it’s fabulous to ask yourself ‘what have I always wanted to do but haven’t through fear of pulling the outcome card I didn’t want to read?’ Regret is a card I fear the most of finding in my deck at the very end.