*NOTE, THIS ‘INCIDENT’ OCCURRED BACK IN 2008…………..i’m much wiser now

I kissed a 21 year old on New Year’s Eve!    What’s a casual 16 year age difference between new friends? OK I’ll admit, the realisation of my new ‘friends’ age the following day when he very sweetly sent me a message asking when he could see me again, on Facebook, was enough to make me break into a sweat, and check the front door for the police.  Never before had I seen 1986 as a birthdate of anyone that had come into my life under the ‘romantic interest’ umbrella. 1986 was not the year for being born as far as everybody in my world is concerned.  There was plenty going on in 1986, but none of it thankfully included birth. By that stage we were in our teens, decked out in fluorescent oversized t-shirts and squeezing our bums into those fabulous tube skirts and singing ‘Holiday’ into our hairbrushes.  That was the year I first fell in love with Scott, or Scooter as I annoyingly used to call him.    The mortifying comparisons just kept on coming.  While I was celebrating my 21st birthday, my cute friend was sleeping peacefully under his Thomas The Tank engine doona, and dreaming of being a fireman, an astronaut, whatever boys do when they’re FIVE! Yes it was just a kiss, but I can solemnly say it took me a good week or so to come to grips with my accidental attempt at becoming Adelaide’s answer to Demi Moore.  Although I did realise that I have an enormous amount of respect for her not only hooking up with Ashton Kutcher, winning out over starlets all over LA that would give their right fake boob to be on his arm, but also turning it into a full blown serious relationship.  So why is it that we women have a much harder time dealingwith the thought and the public judgement of looking for lust, love, whatever it is, with a younger guy?  Does it really make sense that it’s ok and has been ok for men all over the world to marry, or date really young women?  How come the 50 year old guy, who’s either avoided getting married his whole lifbecause he believes women over the age of 30 are suddenly hideously past their used by date, or is divorced and desperate to convince himself that he didn’t just waste 10 years on a marriage that didn’t work out, that he can just turn back time, by starting again with someone his ex wife’s age, when they met? Why does that not make the headlines that Elle MacPherson and her new guy does.  Sure there’s the fact that there’s a 24 year difference, and without being the biggest hypocrite in the universe, they do look a little odd together – although not on a Woody Allen, Soon Yi level – but whatever the case may be, she’s just doing what half the male population are doing. Seeking young lovers for a whole range of reasons, and the fact is, she’s still hot, so she can.  I mean, let’s get a grip here for a second, gone are the days of the man being the sole breadwinner.  Women are equally out there in the work force making their own money and their own rules. So why on earth does it still reek such horror and disapproval when often successful women decide that they want to play the same game as their male counterparts by taking in a younger, probably less jaded, more malleable lover?  There’s really not much mystery in why women are now doing the same thing – taking inlovers sometimes half their age. Think of all the reasons men are doing it, and apply the same rules.  So if women are supposedly from Venus, and men are from Mars –why should a few earth years between us make any difference!



    • well bloody good on you! I just wish that people didn’t put horrid, patronising tags on people that like people from what I call, ‘other tick boxes’. Toyboy makes the guy sound like an idiot – cougar makes the woman sound old and sleazy. So what’s your history of dating older women, or is it just a plan for the future?

  1. Haha, I find the term “cougar” to be absolutely pathetic, much like it’s rise into everything mainstream. I don’t really have a history as such, just one girl. She’s seventeen years older than me, just turned 41, and I think she’s very lovely. I don’t quite know what it is about older women, but I’ve always had an attraction to them. Even nice blonde ones that used to be on the radio! 😛

    Why is it that you “outgrew” dating younger guys? You make it sound like it was a phase that you were going through, why is that?

    • well I just kind of think that perhaps I was only dating younger guys because I was avoiding a proper relationship. I just think that although it’s fun going out with younger guys, the odds of them still having to live the things that you’ve already lived, and really don’t fit very well into where you are now, makes it a little hard. It’s not always the case I know, but from my experience….quite alot. I think even guys that are 30 or 31 which I don’t see as TOO young, often have alot of ‘party’ left in them which can be a little boring, when you’ve already done alot of partying. I just don’t want to ever be the person that is stopping someone doing what they naturally want to do…….but then I also don’t want to be the one sitting at home pretending to have a good time while all my partners mates are getting through a slab and carrying on. Or worse, pressuring me to hang out in the bars I’m semi done with. You know what I mean?

  2. I get what you’re saying. I think compatibility is key. Obviously if you’re keen on one set of things, and the guy you’re seeing isn’t keen, or is keen on a different set of things, then it’s not going to work, regardless of whether they’re the same age as you, or younger, or older. Do you think that if you found someone who was 15 years younger than you, who had the same interests as you, and you had an undeniable chemistry with, do you think that you could have a proper relationship with them? Or is the aspect of them being so much younger than you enough to keep you from committing to it?

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