There’s nothing like going on a holiday as a single person to remind you that you’re single.  It starts out feeling oh so good, and then tends to swan dive depending on your plans.

As I bashed out a rather hopeful and urgent email looking for a partner in crime for a Bali holiday, I admit I didn’t expect it was going to be as easy as last time I headed there at the tender age of 21.

Most of the replies I received back were along the lines of “love to but can’t leave the kids.”

Until 24 hours later, the golden ticket email popped back which read simply, “Oh my god, I’m sooo there!”  Game on.

The other single lady with the one thing our happily married parent friends can’t always put on their CV, ‘flexibility and no accountability’’.  I’d been saved.

My recently divorced friend was back on the market and so we rejoiced in our ability to book on a whim.

Yes, of course we’d love to have found the so-called ‘one’ but truly believe us when we say, “when love hasn’t rolled in the door, there are other blessings to count.”

And so we were away.  Well nearly.  I probably should have sensed a theme cropping up as I hopped into the cab, bleary eyed at 6am on my way to the airport.

A lovely chat ensued with my new driving friend as we chatted about where he was from, and the last holiday he had had.

“And why aren’t you travelling over there with your husband?”  he enquired.

There it was.  The 7 out of 10 strike rate question that I seem to get as a single girl when I hop in a cab on my way somewhere significant.

And yes sure I could get all up myself and think every cabbie’s gagging to ask me out, but something tells me it’s not exactly that.

“I’m not married,” I said, trying once again not to ruin the new friendship by snarling, “how about we start with, have you got a boyfriend?” Even that as personal as it is, would surely be a more modern point of reference to start with?

And then the five or more questions and second and third glance in the rear vision just to ascertain if there was an obvious reason perhaps why I’d either been left on the shelf (mole with hair growing out), or perhaps sporting a ‘K D Lang Rocks’ t-shirt that might hint a hubbie was never quite on the cards.

“Nope, just meeting a girlfriend over there.” Pause.  “Um, just there to relax.”  So now I’m in that zone that I know other singles get put in, where you’re left feeling like you have to make them feel ok about me being single.  “It’s ok, yes I’m single but I promise there’s nothing weird going on.”

So I arrive at Bali airport, desperately trying to search amongst a sea of signs bobbing up and down as to which driver is mine, until I find young Made.

He’s delightful, and eagerly grabs my bags and whisks me off to the car.  And with a much quicker fire than my Australian driver, once again shoots off “where is your husband?”  A similar answer is given, as let’s face it, I’m getting good at this.

And then the old, check the rear vision mirror, although this one seemed to linger, as if I’ve just said “by the way, I’ve just landed from Mars, can you please drive me to Roswell, thanks sir.”

But I tell you I did have to giggle, as I was shown to my room, the rose petals arranged in a heart on my bed and the young staff member says confused “Is it just you?”  And then I pick up my welcome letter, that reads, “Dear Amber Petty and pty…”

Still not happy that I might be single, now it seems they’re hoping I’m sleeping with a whole company.  Anything but think I’m sleeping alone.



    • Me too. I don’t want to settle for anything less than real love. I understand why alot of people settle, and I understand lots of people really are lucky enough to find true love……but as long as you are surrounded by love, and doing things you love, life is hardly empty……as many of ‘those’ types seem to think is the case.

  1. You’re right, single holidays are no fun. I recently bought a weekend in Sydney at a charity auction. Top hotel, great view, and a 5 series BMW for the weekend. Unfortunately I was there on my own! I did catch up with friends while in Sydney, but it’s not quite the same as having a travel companion.
    It is funny how all your friends tell you that you’re such a nice guy, why are you still single! It’s hard to explain that one.

    • I know what you mean Paul. The number of times I’ve been doing or staying somewhere amazing and laugh to myself that I’m on my own there….but I do know I’d sure rather be there than have someone there that I didn’t adore. And so far, I haven’t found anyone I’d pop on the adore list. That’s the sad part. I bet you are a great guy though. I”m told it’s helpful to make a list of all the things you want in a partner, read it every day for 2 weeks and then fold it up and put it somewhere safe. Can’t hurt I guess. Although why haven’t I done it yet? Maybe I still don’t know what should be on that list. And there lies a potential issue. ha ha. Thanks for writing Paul,x

  2. Amber, Im not sure if i can say i have been treated suspiciously single, however, certainly similar to what you have experienced. “Where’s the missus, don’t you have a partner, or my favorite, what name can i add to the wedding invitation” No! no name Ill just sit at the single’s table!!
    Really people its not a affliction if “we” singles are around, fortunately for me I am quite comfortable with my own company, and as you say Amber, im not about to settle for just the sake of settling.
    In saying that and refering to your comment that if we are surrounded by the people we love and do the things we love to do, what more do we need?
    I say, it would be nice to share those special, funny, difficult and life challenging moments with some like minded soul……its to me not all about love at first sight! There is so much depth to people, but in the society we live in today the choice of getting to know someone is sometimes clouded by Urgency!
    Take Care x

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