Those of you out there, lucky enough to have truly found that other person that you not only love but also really enjoy hanging out with, understandably might have forgotten what tricky terrain it is when you’re still on the hunt.
Or there’s those of you that are in relationships that have lost their spark, maybe even started to curdle and therefore you ignorantly believe being back out there in the oh so exciting world of singles, must be so much fun.
Let me give you the tip, you are wrong.
Although I am single, for some reason I kind of forget that it would be nice to fall in love again some day. So for that, and many other reasons, it’s not bizarre I’m still flying solo.
However by default over this last weekend, all I have done is look at who’s around and what I have found, I must admit has been a quite the eye opener.
It all started when my friend from Sydney came to stay with me for the weekend. There was, as there always is, a plan of attack for our time together and on the agenda for the Saturday night was to get frocked up and head to our favourite music venue to carry on like a couple of pork chops. Job done.
What was also on the agenda as a matter of urgency was to discuss whether or not she should demand a post break up meeting with her ex who really broke her heart, with the view to getting a few of her lingering questions answered so she could move on.
Whilst chatting away I was starting to get a little worried about how we were going to mend her little heart so she could get back to being the fabulous sexy woman she is, until she mentioned that she was going to bite the bullet and join an online dating site.
Around lunchtime on the Sunday, as we lounged around nursing half a hangover, I piped up with the idea that we should have a poke around the dating site she was planning to join.
To our surprise, shallow girl alert here, there some half decent looking blokes on there which perked us up a bit and further in we delved.
What struck me was that if I had to herd them all up like cattle, I’d be putting them into two paddocks. The honesty paddock and the they’re gonna love this paddock.
I mean whether it was the guy that said a standard Friday night for him was having a few drinks with friends, and/or changing a friend’s baby’s nappy, I don’t know.
Or whether it was the hairdresser who must cut every person in China’s hair, or charges $10,000 a haircut, I’m pretty sure his stated earnings of $250,000-$500,000 might be a bit rich.
But there were loads of honest guys that went on about their love of throwing knives, and the fact that one morning one guy woke up with chewing gum in his pubic hair, which was lovely to know.
As was this enticing chap’s admission: ‘This is not secret when you get to know me, but I fart in front of anyone, and in most well ventilated places. I am carefree with my flatulence for several reasons.’ Ok, that’ll do. C’mon boys, that’s not the version of honest we were looking for.
And then suddenly the screaming laughter came to a halt. Now the next profile guy staring back at us was her ex. Basically karma came and kicked us in our cynical little heads.
To say it wasn’t ideal may not do this scene justice. Although his profile read by far the most normal of the lot, the fact he claimed to just love the work of Ernest Hemingway and a bunch of other famous authors she had never heard him talk of before, kind of confirmed that while it sounds better than the guy throwing knives, it’s still potentially just a lie designed to say ‘Hey, I’m a just thoughtful, well read, really nice guy’.